Oppo, you've been wrong all along. The most jalop car is...

"Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise" (raveymayveysurprise) 04/01/2014 at 00:21 • Filed to: None

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...the Toyota Prius, and you've all been worshiping false idols. It's hard to take, I know. Give it a moment, and let me explain. First of all, it is batshit insane and counter culture. How many other cars can boast they have two engines? How many of them can say they send the power to the same group of wheels? Exactly. This thing is the same as a Cizeta-Moroder V16. But it doesn't stop there: it's a motherfucking shooting break . Look at it: it has the same traditional shooting break look as the Mercedes Benz CLS Shooting Break, except more extreme. We all harp on about how we want wagons, and here we go. Finally, and the clincher to the argument here is that it is stripped out for performance. The only way you could get this to go faster is if you stripped the horn out and gave it a Cobb shifter, so you could save tens of lives on the drag strip.

D > Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise 04/01/2014 at 00:23

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Don't forget: it has a gated shifter!

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise 04/01/2014 at 00:24

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if the most Jalop car is the Prius, then the LEAF should be our god, or maybe the G-Wiz.

Victorious Secret > Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise 04/01/2014 at 00:24

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Oh, you think the beige is your ally, but you merely adopted the beige. I was born in it, molded by it. I didn't see the colour until I was already a car; by then, it was nothing to me but distracting! The beiges betray you, because they belong to me. I will show you where I have made my home, whilst preparing to bring beige. Then, I will break you. Your precious paintshop, gratefully accepted. We will need it. Ah yes, I was wondering what would break first. Your spirit, or your colour.

TractionControlOff > Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise 04/01/2014 at 01:05

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I'll take one with an LS engine please.